All thanks are due to God!

I woke up in the morning to hear the loud news on Al-Iraqiya TV. Seven cars had exploded today in the morning in 6 different neighborhoods, killing at least 36 people and injuring hundreds of others. Al-Qua'eda took responsibility of course and said that this is a "gift" for Iraqis to celebrate the birthday of Al-Ba'eth party. I'm not even gonna attempt to explain why or how. Cowards.

I freaked out of course. I knew that mom was staying in Baghdad for the week and that she had been working on her papers which meant that she had to be on the move, all the time. And knowing mom, I was sure that she preferred getting up early in the morning to get her stuff done. Conclusion, I FREAKED OUT. I tried not to show anyone that I was concerned. Probably because I was pissed off at everyone at home. Useless people. I was cooking last night for 2 hours! Exactly 2 hours. I ended up going to bed at 11:20PM. I woke up in the morning and everyone EVERYONE was waiting for me to make breakfast. Zahra was late, Shams missed her breakfast club and dad had a headache. Anyhow, dad couldn't pack them sandwiches for school and yeah they woke me up. Zahra is such a drama queen these days. I can't stand her and she told me more than once that she "hates me". Whether she means it or not is not something that concerns me, what concerns me the most is the fact that she has the guts to express such things right in front of dad. Things are definitely getting out of hand. Sham's school called yesterday to notify us that Shams wasn't in school. Meaning that she skipped. I don't know what to do about it. I'm concerned but I don't know what to do and obviously dad knows and doesn't do anything about it. It's such a critical time in her life and if we don't intervene now, she might just take us and skipping/school for granted.

Anyhow, so back to the cowards. I called mom and as soon as she said she was doing alright I burst into tears. I don't know if they were happy tears or I miss you tears or I'm frustrated tears or just come back tears. Whatever they were, she could tell that I was crying. She reassured me that everything is okay and that she will try not to get out of the house until things are settled. I just hope she sticks to her words.

I'm still worried and I've got a long day ahead of me.

It's snowing again and we have to shovel the driveway. Pathetic weather.

Till next time

I NEED to get my eyebrows done!

Yes! Badly. But I'm so tired, I have no time for anything these days. I wasn't even gonna blog tonight but I have a lot of scattered thoughts that need to be cleared out.
I got a rejection e-mail from University of Buffalo today. They said they only interview applicants with 3.2+, which is way beyond my current GPA. I want to go to Manitoba so badly but at the same time I don't know when I should do that or if it's a good idea at all. I need to do more research, I need to talk to counselors and I need to visit the school. I found out that mom has 1790 points on her air miles which could get me a plane ticket (and a Lacoste watch worth $200 haha). I don't know. I have to take summer classes if I want to graduate on time but if I want to go to Manitoba and start all over again, then what's the point of taking any courses? It's confusing and I'm leaning more toward continuing this degree that I have and then looking for other options. But the problem is that I'm afraid that I might lose interest in school after I graduate--something very common among graduates with low GPA's. I don't know what to do :(

My computer is so slow. I have a lot of shit on it. I probably need to formate it. And you know what else I need to do? cook for tomorrow! We have nothing to eat tomorrow. I have to make something because I want to leave in the morning.

I spoke to mom today, she sounded pretty depressed. She said nobody is helping her get her papers done etc. and people are so different and most of them have sunk into a world of materialism and greed. But as I always say:

"Such is Life"

Till next time

Just received my shoes!

I just got my shoes today! They're so amazing! I'll take a picture of them and upload it on here. But yeah I think I'm gonna buy other items from the girl, she seems pretty nice but first I have to figure out the whole appeal thing. I called mom today, she's a little sick...taking antibiotics etc...

I didn't cook anything for today! I was so tired yesterday...I didn't cook or anything but I had to clean the kitchen and wash loads and loads of dishes (dishes from 2 days ago). The kitchen was a MESS and the hallway was D-I-R-T-Y! It took me about an hour to finish cleaning everything. Zahra was sick, very sick. She has an ear infection and she lost her voice. She was sleeping when I came, had fever and dad didn't even bother checking up on her. She came back from school and went to sleep right away. She even took her pill without eating anything and what did dad do? NOTHING! She was sweating when she woke up, broke my heat! I can't believe how heartless he can be. I didn't have time to cook so I ordered pizza. Dad didn't mind it, he was hungry too and was waiting for me to order pizza and feed him, much like I fed Zahra. We have two babies at home. No mind you three, Shams is no good either. She has her literacy exam today so she was studying for it yesterday and did absolutely nothing. I'm so frustrated! We have no bread today and I'm not bringing anything on my way, I want dad to assume responsibility and actually for ONCE only ONCE check if we have bread or not. It's ridiculous! And what bothers me even more is that I can't talk to him about it. He could probably tell that I was pissed off that after coming back from a longass day at school (from 8am-6pm), I had to clean and cook (and discipline). I FEEL SO SORRY FOR MOM! If it was me, I would have committed suicide long time ago. Dad is just ugh useless! Ouch that sounded mean. Hes just been conditioned not care, or do anything. I want to break his laptop. I really want to. But he wants to buy a mac, so he'll just buy another one.

Such is life.


Till next time

eBay

Haven't blogged in a while. Been so busy with the house and school and work. Putting up with my sisters' BS is enough to trigger mania. I give mom so much credit for putting up with us...all of us, including dad who does absolutely nothing but sits in front of the computer and downloads torjans or whatever the hell they are 24/7. Heck, he doesn't even do the shopping anymore, I have to do it and I'm not bitching because I'm paying but I don't have my truck anymore! I yelled at him yesterday for not wanting to talk to Annah. I couldn't believe I was doing that. I was just so frustrated, tired and hungry, had just come back from school, the sink was full of dirty dishes from last night, I was cooking (because dad ate everything I had cooked for lunch in the morning), while begging Zahra to eat (She's a drama queen these days, acts like a baby and now that she's sick no one absolutely no one gets to tel her what to do--attention wannabe)...But yeah I was so busy and tired and on top of that thinking of my upcoming exams when the phone rang. Now not only do I have to put up with Shams and Zahra and dad's BS but I also have to listen to Annah and her messed up stories about dad's family. She called to invite us over for lunch but I obviously told her that we couldn't. I had work and school and the girls had to go to the mosque. She insisted and wanted to talk to dad. I handed the phone to him and he said to tell her that he wasn't home. I couldn't take it. He was sitting in front of the computer doing God knows what and wanted me to now argue with Annah! I yelled at him and said can you for once assume the role of a father? I swear it just came out naturally. I even put my hand on my mouth after I said it. Oh and by the way I said it in English. It was a big reality check for him. He grabbed the phone and spoke to her. He didn't yell at me or anything. It was awkward. He just kept quiet and things were normal afterwards. But yeah, I can't function like that. We need to co-operate! I didn't cook anything today. I didn't have time or energy. I had an early class. I can't afford to miss anymore classes. I feel like I'm ruining my GPA! I could listen to them online but it's so not easy! You can't just sit down for 6 hours straight just to watch 3 lectures when you've missed over 12 lectures (different classes)!


But back to the topic of this blog, Ebay is SO gay! They deactivated my account again. They said "they have reason to believe that my account is associated with another account that has a few overdue fees"
I created that old account when I wasn't serious about buying things/didn't trust the Internet. But I've done it once, paid my fees on time and I wanted to do it again. So I went ahead and bought a pair of Lacoste sneakers. They came up to $103 (I'm not one of those people who buy expensive things every time they hit the mall) I only buy things when I really need them and I'd rather them be of good quality (and I know that I really need a pair of runners because the ones I have on are ripped from the bottom). I now rest my case lol.
Problem is eBay deactivated my account again. I had already paid for the item and the person shipped my stuff already BUT the problem is if I had any concerns about the item, say it didn't fit or it had a spot on it or anything like that, it's not gonna be easy to communicate with the seller because my account is blocked! So I'm worried. I just hope that they'll fit. They're my size but my Lacoste boots are size 10 and they're a bit too big...I don't know if these ones are the same...they're sneakers, usually made a little bigger than they should be so that they're more comfortable etc. I don't know, I'm careless.

Till next time

Sushi breath!!!!

There's this Chinese guy sitting right beside me and he smells like sushi or whatever. Its BAD! God, I'm not racist, I swear but he smells horrible! and he yawns on top of that. like seriously, if my mouth smelled this bad, I would make every effort to not even talk so as to not open it. Some people! I feel like offering him a piece of gum!

Anyway, so mom didn't call today...Dad kinda told her off when she called yesterday at 3:00AM...I'm guessing that's why she didn't call today. I hope thats why. I tried to call her twice in the morning but she didn't pick up...so yeah.

cooking is good, so far. I made this Spanish dish yeterday...I thoguht it was good. We still have some leftovers so I don't think I have to cook when I go home today.

I have to catch up on my school work though. Im so behind. And now I really want to switch my seat! GOD CHINESE PEOPLE!!!!!

Mini-Nightmare

I came back from work yesterday and fell asleep...for 2 hours which obviously wasn't enough but thanks to Zahra and her friends, I woke up at 11:00pm. I was actually worried about what to cook for lunch too so it wasn't just Zahra. A whole bunch of things really. I went grocery shopping and bought Zahra's shoes...By the time I got home, I was dead! I could swear I had a full blown myotic reflex episode. I went to bed, but couldn't really sleep. My muscles were hurting a lot...Eventually though I fell asleep...at like 8:49pm or something. I had set up the alarm clock on my cell phone to 10pm because thats when I had to be ready for work. but yeah...I woke up at around 9:50 to this loud scream! It was so loud that I almost had a bursting-out feeling in my ears! And then I had a very very quick flashback of mom's face. I don't know what it is..Scary nightmare. I'm scared. Really scared. I'm afraid she's sick or something....I'm waiting for her to call. But I'm gonig to text her in 30 mins. ugh when is she coming back???????

till next time

Called mom again

She's doing alright I guess. She said the people are nice to her etc...She's leaving to Iraq either tonight (12:00AM Amman's time so around 6pm our time) or tomorrow morning. She's not going by airplane anymore. She said the people at airfrance gave her a VERY HARD TIME that she doesn't want to get on an airplane anymore! I wonder what these mofos did to her...but hey I should also keep in mind that the 'X10' gene runs in our family...

Anyhow. I pulled an all nighter yesterday. Our essay sucks. Our analysis is jokes. Ugh and we're running out of time. I hate this. But oh well.

Till next time