Friday, September 17, 2010

I'm going to ignore it.

I chose to ignore it. It's hard but I can't help it. Not because I don't have the guts to confront them, but because them too much to want to see them get embarassed in front of their child. I hope my mother will understand. I have nothing else to say about this :(

Wednesday, September 15, 2010


It's been about 4 months since I've blogged. So many things have happened...and I've had my reasons for not blogging and to be fair, I've even decided not to blog again...until today. I was feeling so down and frustrated with life (I'll get to this in a sec.), but I came across my horoscope on MSN (I don't necessarily believe in Horoscopes but this one caught my attention). It read:
EDIT: the reading changed appearenly and I can't seem to find it anymore! But it said that I should write down what's bothering...and that's when I remembered my blog.
ASIDE: it's kind of weird how the new horoscope reading for Pisces says:

"It's a long road, this life, and it's full of big questions. But go ahead and try to work out solutions to the immediate problems. Taking a practical approach might be just the ticket. Clean your room, organize your office, make sure your bills are in order and then go out at night. Time with friends can be a needed relief from all those solitary 'where does this road go anyhow' questions"

This is exactly what I feel/need right now. I couldn't have said it any better. I find it weird or maybe its just a coincidence! But yeah. I'll have more to blog about this in the next few days since I don't anticipate the sight of sunshine anytime soon.

So I moved to Winnipeg. Big change. I think I might have actually liked this city had I moved here a little earlier....Like 10 years ago for example. But moving at 23, I feel like it's a little too late to adjust to a new environment AND actually call it "home". It certainly doesn't happen overnight and it will take a lot of effort on my part...but it was just uncalled for. But thats not something I want to discuss here.
So we took the train from Toronto to Winnipeg and man were we exhuasuted! That week, the whole week but especially the two days before Canada day, were the worst days of my life!!! But we've survived them and we've learned a lot from the experience, I think. So we arrived in Winnipeg on July, 3rd. I believe it was a Saturday. My mother and sister were already there...the first few weeks were just awkward. It was hard to adjust to the new place, the atmosphere...having to live with dad and my brother again, not being in charge anymore. It just felt awkward. And on top of that, I met many so-called "family friends" that I was expected to associate with and regard as friends (BS, not in a million years!). Man, I can write a book about the community here! But that's for another post.

So anyway, this is Winnipeg:
Flat lands, farms and mosquitoes. No I'm joking, there's more to Winnipeg. Nothing like Tdot of course...But it's not as bad as I intially thought it would be. People here are very friendly but I haven't done actual "city discovering" yet. I don't feel like it. I'm not over the fact that I moved. That I'm not in school anymore. That I'm 23. That med school didn't work out. That my application package got lost in the mail. That our mortgage was the reason why my line of credit got rejected. That I can't find a job. That I don't friends. That I hate this place.
The list can go on and on....but its only natural. I want to give myself sometime. I need to give myself sometime.

Eid was good. Quiet. But alright. We went to the prayer...and then to the Eid carnival... There's a small mosque not too far from where I live. And I got to meet a couple of really nice girls that I hope I can make friends with (I can't believe I'm actually saying's like kindergarten all over again!).

And finally, in the midst of all of this messiness, I had a great cup of pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks today! It truly warmed my heart. It was my first time leaving the house in 3 days. I actually sat on my ass for 3 days and did abseloutely nothing. Life is so boring these days.
I wonder if its only me or if this actually happens to everyone after they graduate and they're done school. I feel so unproductive. I need a change in my life. I need to spice things up before its too late :(
Till next time,