Friday, November 27, 2009


Who was I kidding? I'm just not cut out for it! I want med. school and this time I want to be sure. I don't want anything to stop me. No more distractions!

Ugh! I have tons of things to finish this weekend!

I need miracles!

Till next time

Thursday, November 26, 2009


So here are a few things I grabbed when I went shopping yesterday. I really shouldn't be shopping :( I'm loaded with work. But I feel like shopping takes some of that stress away....Maybe I'm just trying to justify my bad spending habits. But oh well, it's a phase lol (here I am again justifying things). For some reason, I'm in love with gray! Gray and pink, peachy pink! I didn't get anything fancy....Just the basics.
So to start off, I bought these really cute flats from Costa Blanca

They are not very comfortable but I do have to break them in. They stretch.

And here's how they look on me :) They don't look as nice when you wear them with socks but it's kinda chilly outside. Can't wear them alone. But I'm abs. in love with them!

Next I went to Winners and I grabbed a couple of things. First I got this Calvin Klein Coat...It's not special, really. Just simple which is what I wanted. It might be a little too big though. I just wanted something I could wear on a regular basis I guess. But yeah I like it overall. Just not crazy about it lol. I love Winners.

It feels sooooooo soft! It's virgin wool

Then I got this ADORABLE purse also from Winners. I couldn't get my mind off of it. I had to have it. It wasn't that expensive. about $23. But It's so elegant and you can totally spice up an outfit

For example, this is what my outfit today looked like. Just a plain pink tank top and a plain cardigan with my favorite Hamsa necklace which my sister got me from Aldo. Add the bag, and you have a complete outfit! I love it.

Then I went to H&M and my goodness. They had this gigantic sale on gloves and scarves! So I grabbed this really cute gray scarf. I also got another headscarf but it wasn't gray (surprisingly), it was blue. Royal blue, much like my Steve Madden flats. But yeah, I'm very excited that H&M and Zara will soon have an online shopping option! That will save me so much time and effort!

Then I went to Walmart and I got myself a french manicure set for Eid. I haven't tried it yet but it looks legit lol. You can kind of see my books in the background. ha ha. I should be studying :(

And that completes the haul.

I finally got around to picking up my hair straightener from Pullator. I completely forgot about it. But I love it! Its very smooth and it heats up so fast. I already straightened my sister's hair with it and it literally took 15 minutes! I haven't tried it on my hair yet, I've been very busy but I guess sometime this weekend!!

It's also ceramic so it's supposed to wash your hair and straighten it at the same time (or at least so I heard)

Alright, that is it.

Till next time,

Monday, November 23, 2009

Ticking clocks


I'm so cold! Its freezing cold where I am. I'm not in a studying mood at all and haven't been for the past 3 weeks. My brain is too busy thinking about other things...may things. I don't know if Med. school is for me...or if its even possible. But one thing I know is that the more I think about it, the more I like it....the more I picture myself in the ER, wearing a whitecoat and running around in the hospital's hallways, much like Meredith in Grey's Anatomy.

Sounds silly, but I'm slowly falling in love with Med. school lol. Wrong timing. And then comes the guy, who is kind of hopeful now....Last time I spoke to him he told me that he doesn't mind me going to school etc...but he personally thinks that people are better off working. Making money. I felt like we think differently when it comes to money. I'm a spender (when it comes to school) and he's an investor. But balance is nice, it would a nice combo. We are supposed to be meeting this Thursday. And I really REALLY have to go shopping sometime on Wednesday or Tuesday. But before I do that, I have to pick up my hair straightener which has been held at the purallator office for God knows how long now. Not nice. I also have to get my TB test pretty soon for the hospital volunteer position thingy. Ugh! I should take a picture of my planner! It literally has something written in every box! It's ridiculous! This semester has been pretty busy. OMG and now that I talk about planners, I forgot that this week is Grad photos week!!! My Goodness! I can't take a picture this week, seriously. I have pimples all over my face. The stress level is unbearable. So yeah, as usual, I need a miracle.

Anyhow, so my thesis is due in a week and I haven't started ANYTHING yet. I think I only have 1 page. I hate my life. There's just so much thinking to do and I'm running out of time. I took next weekend off. I want to spend the weekend in the library but its gonna be Eid, which means that I'll probably have to "do" things with my sisters....and that I'm not looking forward to. Eid doesn't mean much to me anymore, unfortunately. I even stopped going to Eid prayers....the mosque is way too far and I don't have a car. My mom is going this year...I don't think I will, although it would be refreshing.

Speaking of freshness, in an attempt to get my mind off of my thesis, med. school and marriage, I decided to bake. I'll upload some pictures of the cupcakes I baked. I put in some Oreo cookies in them and they turned out phenomenal!!! Meh, something seems to be working.

Till next time,

P.S. the blog's title is inspired by Coldplay's new song Clocks <3

Friday, November 20, 2009

Last night

It was pretty hectic. I was running around between interviews and seminars. but it was worth it. I gained a lot of information and I'm glad they were pretty realistic about things. The more I think about med school the more I want it. The more I think it is the thing for me. It takes a lot.

It's probably one of the most important decisions of my life. I don't know why but I'm starting to think that it is possible...if I work on it of course (which I'm currently not). I don't know why but I feel like I'm familiar with things and at the same time very overwhelmed. It's not easy to explain. But I know that I want to be a day. Mom seems less convinced now that I started talking to the guy. She thinks I'm better off doing my graduate studies etc... I don't know. I'm lost.

I like the scene outside of where I'm sitting. There's just a lot ALOT ALOT!!!!

Till next time

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Halal Date

So on Monday I went on my first "halal date". According to me it was Halal anyway....I'm pretty sure there's people out there who would consider it Haram but anyway. It felt pretty awkward at first. Specially that my mother was there and the guy was there alone. I have no idea how he must have felt. But then my mom left us and we sat down and talked about things...he does come across as a pretty simple, down to earth guy which is contrary to what I thought of Iraqi guys...but I guess generalization is bad. so yeah, we talked about a whole bunch of random things. Height is an issue...with me being almost 5 inches taller than him. I don't know how I felt about it. It's like I've always had shorter friends and so walking with someone shorter than me, be it a male or a female is kinda normal since I am pretty darn tall. But to actually think of him as something more than just a male is different. and I'm pretty sure I cant conceptualize it quite yet. It takes takes time for me to first start liking him and then experience the height difference in that context. I tried to explain that to him...I don't know if I sounded like I was pretty enthusiastic about the whole thing...I'm just naturally like that but I think he was under the impression that I liked him. Which I can't comment on right now...I just have no feelings towards him. It's so weird.
I actually never thought I was gonna meet someone this way. I always imagined myself falling in love with someone and then marrying them. Never thought about parents and their involvement but I have to admit that imagination is pretty unrealistic.
So there are many things I wanted to talk about but I'll save them for later since I'm literally loaded with work. I have an interview at St. Mike's tomorrow and then a conference at St. George so I have very little time for studying and my thesis is due in less than 2 weeks. I'm going nuts here.

I need a miracle, as usual.

Till next time

Fireflies and more....

Been a while as usual. I don't know where time just disappears. It felt like I was doing things but I just can't remember what they its as if I didn't do a thing this last week. I went to work., that's something I remember. I did no studying, however I did do a lot of thinking/reflecting on my current situation. The more I think about it, the more I realize that I just wasn't cut out for being a wife or a mom. It's like my mind and my heart are two different opposing forces, one wants me to do what's logical from an Iraqi point of view and the other wants me to go to the Caribbean and start my life there. The latter being my heart.

This whole talk about mind and heart brings me to the highlight of my week, or rather month. I went on my first "halal date". I will not discuss this here in this post, it really needs a whole new post. But yeah other than that, I've been pretty busy conducting interviews or my thesis. I don't feel like I'm putting enough effort into it, even though I was literally just running around last week trying to collect different views etc...but it still feels like something is missing. Like I don't have any structured questions which is part of the whole phonological approach but still, it feels like I'm not doing enough. I need structure. Other than the thesis,lets see...Oh I've been having fun too lol. I went out with my friend on Friday. We went shopping downtown, it was a lot of fun but it was hectic. My legs were killing me afterward :(

I've also been playing around with my camera and so I have a few pictures to post....Not the best but its a start.

These pictures were taken outside of my university. It's pretty depressing outside nowadays. Leaves are falling, skies are gray. Not very impressive.

Random rocks outside in the front yard.

Downtown Toronto

Dundas Square

Our neighbor's little daughter in motion