Motivation

So chapter 16 is all about motivation! and I'm happy that I thoroughly enjoy the material in the textbook. I think its amazing how the human brain works! Specifically our ability to think. I know it hasn't been mapped out yet but its just something! Anyhow, so I still have 2 more chapters to cover as well as 5 articles and 5 lectures! Still a long road ahead...but I'm working on it.

Today I submitted my applications to MUA, just to expand my options/choices. I did a pretty silly thing on their website though :( I submitted the wrong resume that said in its objective: "To seek admission to Saint James School of Medicine". I literally felt like a piece of crap afterward. Like seriously? I don't know what the Admission committee must be thinking now!
I also e-mailed SJSM with my resume/personal statement and hopefully I can fax them the last LOR tomorrow. I don't know where this road is taking me but I want to travel until I get lost...

I don't know why but I keep telling myself that if I fail for whatever reason (not having a strong background in chemistry, being homesick, not being able to keep up with med school's exhausting work, being a victim of some sort of horrific crime-God forbid- or just simply giving up), I keep telling myself that I can always go back to Canada and and become a paramedic. I want to get rid of this though, I don't to plan to fail. but maybe all I'm doing is preparing for the worst? Having a plan B? I don't know...but hey, as Murphy said "If something can go wrong, it will"
So maybe its not such a bad idea.
I'm just really scared. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing...Its weird because usually I have "instincts" or gut feelings about things but not this....it just feels so neutral? so empty? By this, I'm referring to SJSM specifically. For some odd reason, I feel like going to MUA is more logical (given that I don't have a strong background in Chemistry) but then again, time is an issue.

What else? Oh yeah, so I was at Tim Hortons today lining up to get my morning coffee, thinking about the future and reflecting on my C61 reading progress and I hear someone say "Happy birthday". The person, a friend, really caught me off guard not just because he interrupted my "chain of thoughts" but because my birthday is not until Friday...and maybe because no one else wished me a happy birthday? yet? haha. well mom kinda already gave me something, a very cute scarf but still...I don't know how he found out about my birthday...perhaps facebook, but whatever the case might be, it was very sweet and unexpected, especially coming from someone like him. I don't know, maybe I'm reading too much into it (perhaps because I'm not used to be the center of someone's attention?) but why would he pay that much attention to such details? Its not like my birthday is today? Regardless of what the case be, I felt special. and now typing this and rereading it to myself, I feel like a neurotic psycho. Oh well who cares?

Anyway, I gotta get back to studying or maybe I'll just go home and get some readings done (although I doubt it). Oh yeah, also, about the whole "Corners of My Life" section, I think I'm finally ready to launch this project. I'll post some more about this. I'm still not sure about whether I want to start a new blog just for this project...I guess I could just link it to this one? Not sure yet.

Till next time