Nobody said it was easy...

As I write this blog I can her my mother yelling through the phone....not only because she's talking to someone in Iraq (that's pretty normal), but because she was talking to the people who have taken over our house in Iraq...our brand new house. I've never lived there but my mother talks about the furniture, the curtains, the front yard all the time...My parents built the house before we left, we never got to live in it. But after what happened in Iraq (sectarianism, civil war etc) some people just decided to invade other people's properties...simply because the property happens to be in a Sunni neighborhood or a Shia neighborhood and therefore, by default, the property should be owned by Sunnis or Shias.

Very sad but that's our reality. My mother cannot get over it. I don't blame her.

On a different note, I've been doing absolutely nothing these days. Not even helping around the house...just sleeping. I think I'm depressed. It just feels like I'm never gonna get used to this place. I feel like a stranger here...Like a foreigner. It's like a whole new culture that I have to adapt to. I miss my friends, I miss my people :( People here are friendly but they don't wanna get too close...we scare them I think. I know that being the new kid on the block is not easy and it requires effort on my part, but the environment is just not welcoming. People here think that we're all here for a short period of time...they're accommodating, but not accepting. And if I'm ever gonna be able to make friends and be part of this society, I need to feel accepted first. They seem to think that all "colored people" are here to study...that we're all international students or something. Here for school or training purposes and that at one point or another, we will leave this country so they don't feel the NEED to involve us or be overly welcoming....which is really not what I'm asking for. I just want friends. I had a rough summer and I want someone to debrief with. I haven't digested everything yet and it's not just moving or not being able to go to med school. It's other things too. It's all inside and it needs to come out...

I think it has a lot to do with my loss of independence. I had a job in Toronto, I was in school...I knew my way around and didn't have to hold a freakin' map. I knew exactly what used to be in front of the long building across the street, near the giant tiger and was very excited about the new Tim Hortons being built there...I knew my neighborhood.

I'll get through it. Nobody said it was easy