Sold

Or maybe not. All depends on what the inspector says today. But yeah, our house is sold. My god I can't believe I'm actually saying this. Our house is sold :( I really hated it when we first moved. I specially hated the neighborhood. but now that we're leaving, I don't know...8 years. Ah, I'm gonna miss this place. I've had the saddest/happiest/weirdest/ and the list goes on and on, moments of my life in this house. Can't believe we're moving. I don't want to yet think about Toronto. I wanna take it one step at a time. I've taken a few pics of my house...just for memory. I will upload more pics of my bedroom. Oh my dear bedroom :(

So this is our living room. Not the whole thing of course. The most memorable thing that happened here was probably when dad, M and I took pictures lol. and probably other things but I'll never forget that day. I still have the pictures, we all looked so sleepy in them lol. Ugh those day...I think I was in second year university. Been a while. Oh I also remember our family gatherings...when Anna comes over with uncle's family. Lots of fun.

Next is our dinning room, where we eat, but we never actually ate here lol. Only when we had visitors. Man those chairs are sooo painful! Aww I'm gonna miss this place. Hahaha I just remembered something really funny that happened here! when those converts came to do their presentation and the guy starts off by saying "alahuma sadi" I laughed my head off! How immature of me! I was a kid back then. I'm so mean. But it was so funny. mama gave me the dirtiest look ever and right then I knew I was in so much trouble so I ran upstairs and "finished" my laugh....of course M joined me and we literally started ROFL'ing! Good days, good days.

Mom's favorite place! The kitchen! lots and lots of memories...oh where do I begin. This is basically the family's cheese-spot hahah. I remember a lot of sad things that happened here...mostly arguing with mom about going to Med. school and not wanting to get married etc...I also remember us having dinner/lunch together on Sundays. Lots of memories. I love this place.

Anyhow, the weather is BEAUTIFUL outside but I can't enjoy it because I'm working on a paper for C61 :( I didn't bring my laptop today which means that I'm gonna be stuck in the computer lab until I'm done this stupid thing!

Till next time

Can't make up my mind

I've had two weeks to work on this stupid presentation and I still can't seem to find a topic I like. Well, way to go stupid! presentation is tomorrow at 1:00pm and the article I picked out is so long and boring and I'm thinking of changing it! Ugh, I hate making decisions lol (in other words, I hate life).

I don't even feel like typing anymore :( I'm gonna go now.

Till next time

Simple and practical shopping

So I have sort of started doing my shopping...Mom bought me a bunch of V-neck tees from oldnavy, very practical and simple and they come in pretty much all colours (wearable colours haha is that even a word?) I still have to buy more tees though...its gonna be very hot down there and I'm probably not gonna have enough time for washing/taking care of my clothes lol.



Today, I bought this really cute pair of of slip-ons from Little Burgundy. They're green and match perfectly with my Roots hoodie :) which I probably won't be able to wear there anyway since the weather is so hot.





I have to buy my luggage and bags too...still hunting for good quality/prices.



Till next time,

I wish I was a kid again...

I really do. I hate living life in the fast lane...I can't believe I already reserved my seat. and now there are a million things I have to do before leaving Toronto. I can't believe I'm gonna live on my own for the next 8-10 years of my life. I can't believe I'm leaving my parents, Toronto, my house, my friends and most of all, I can't believe that I'm an adult.....and that its time to act like one.

The thought itself is so scary---especially for someone who is SO dependent on their parents like myself. I'm scared. Very scared.

Yesterday, I had a little talk with my mom about "my future career as a doctor". and mom tried to calculate how old I will be by the time I get my MD and finish my residency...according to her math, I'll be about 30 (that's if everything worked as planned, but unfortunately life as I know it, doesn't always behave...so I'm gonna say about 32). My mom is obviously concerned about whether Ill want/be able to start a family at 32. She thinks its a bit too late. I have to say I somewhat understand where she's coming from. Most of my friends are already thinking about marriage (and they're only 23), some have even taken more "serious" steps and gotten engaged. People are moving on, I guess. I just know that I'm not ready for marriage or even relationships. My mom said that going to medicine (and especially taking the route I'm taking) means dedicating my life to studying/learning and working. I just hope its worth the effort. I realize that chasing my dream of becoming a doctor = to making BIG scarifies....I just hope and pray to God that by the time August rolls around, I hope that I will be 100% positive and confident about my decision. I don't want to be scared....It's just not healthy.

On a more positive note, mom sort of excited about her daughter becoming a doctor :) She even said she would buy my scrubs from Sears....and my lab coat. I thought that was pretty sweet (in fact I'm smiling as I'm typing this). I love my mom. I just want her to believe in me. I know that she knows that I'm scared...and I know that she is too and so is my father but I just wish they could be a bit stronger....I draw my self-confidence/esteem from my parents and it would just help a lot to know that they're proud of me and supportive of my decision. I want to be able to call them and cry, without having to hear "you're on your own".

I'm just so scared.

I have a long day ahead of me and tomorrow is my presentation day. I'm very nervous! I ended up choosing the article on Caffeine and BDNF/TrKinase. I still don't understand all the little details but I get the big picture.
oh and as usual, I'm running out of time.

Miracles!! I need them!

Till next time
P.S. I might take a few pictures today and upload them later on, the weather is AMAZING!

Accepted!

OMG SO I got accepted to MED SCHOOL!
I guess its big. I'm happy but scared.
I want to keep this short and sweet (I just got off work and I'm exhausted)
I need to do more research!
Miracles? Hell yes. Miracles.

Waiting...and officially worried.

So I'm still waiting...I was told that I should hear back from them on Thursday, 11:00AM Central. But that didn't happen....My mom thinks its a sign of rejection. I don't know, she could be right. After all, I was very nervous and didn't have a strong answer to their "recent health concerns in the US" question. I gave them a call around 3:00pm Eastern and the lady said that the admission officer was not in the office. The interviewer told me that I should hear back from them regardless of whether I got accepted or not. It's very unprofessional to promise someone that the admission officer would give them a call and then bail on them, especially when it comes to somethign so nerve racking like the decision of getting accepted to med school. It says quite a lot about SJSM.

On a more positive note, I do see a lot of "prospective/accepted" students on their ValueMD forum...which means that I'm not the lone ranger. The classified section is also more active...which means that more and more students are getting accepted and hence looking for means of accommodation. It makes me happy.

Okay so its 12:38 which means its 11:38 central and I still haven't heard back from them. I'm official worried.

Wednesday Morning

Couldn't think of another title. So I'm sitting in the computer lab eating my breakfast while browsing ValueMD (a forum for IMGs). The forum is actually beneficial in many ways...but at the same time, there's a lot of garbage there and it can be misleading sometimes. Anyhow, I feel so dirty. I wanna go home so badly. The construction guys said that they should be done by 4pm today, lets hope they meant it. I'm just so sick of staying at other people's places and feeling like a free-loader (even though I'm not, I never ate from their food or anything). Today after I left, I thanked mom's friend for letting us stay over but I really didn't mean it. she was rude and very inconsiderate. My little sister came back from school and was hungry but she didn't even bother offering her anything whereas when she left to Iraq, her daughter stayed over at our place for a WEEK and we fed her 3 meals/day. I know it sounds stupid to say that and I really never think about things this way, I just do "good deeds" without consciously thinking about them but you know you'd expect the person to show some appreciation. I just can't believe how selfish some people can be. I just pray to God that we don't ever need someone's help.

Alright I should go back to studying.

Till next time

The interview!!!

So I just had my MED school interview about an hour ago! Man was I nervous. I don't know. I'm really scared. some of questions I was asked were:

1) What kind of qualities do you think a physician should have?
2) Talk about a time where you had to rise above the odds.
3) Talk about recent health issues in the USA.
4) Have you applied to any other Med schools? If so, were you rejected? Why?
5) What can you bring to Saint James?
6) Have you applied to any other Caribbean Med schools?
7) What would be your worst quality?
8) Suggest two ways to help teenagers quit smoking.
9) Tell me a incident that required you to go "above and beyond"
10) How will you finance your education?

I'm scared. I was nervous. Hope the above questions help perspective med students in the future.

Till next time,

"So why do you want to be a doctor?"

I can't believe what happened a few minutes ago. Unbelievable. I was hungry so I went to Subway to grab something to eat, got the sandwich, paid, and left then I went to the campus express to get a drink, then went to the library to return a couple of books I borrowed for a paper, then to my locker and then I finally went to the S-Wing to find a spot that has a plug near by. Boring huh? Yeah, gets more interesting. So I sit down, take off my coat etc...look for my phone (SJSM is supposed to call me in 2 hours so I thought I would put it in front of me where I can easily reach and answer it). I look and look and look and the phone is nowhere to be found. I looked inside my pockets, inside my purse, my pencil case, everywhere!

I lost my cellphone. I mean, can I get luckier?? Somebody? please? and yet people tell me that I need to be "a bit more optimistic" I mean really? Do you see what I have to go through? Ugh!

Anyway, I eventually found it after an hour of breathless searching, crying and asking everyone around if they had seen a white Samsung Link phone. It was just ridiculous. Turned out that I left it at Subway! Man was I thankful! I mean this stuff only happens in movies....you know the cursed people...yeah that's me--in real life.

So back to the question: Why Do you Want to Be a Doctor?

I was thinking of just saying well "I like to help others" but that sounds pretty cheesy. I want to make my answer very personal/unique. I want to talk about my father's asthma and his health etc. but I'm not sure I want to make this phone interview that dramatic. I just want to be light and genuine. So here's what I've come up with:

I used to think that my desire to become a doctor was solely because I liked to help others, to stop pain and to make a difference in other people's lives. But after my extensive volunteer experience in the health field, I realize that there's more to it. Yes I do want to help others, because I can accomplish that just by being a nurse or paramedic. From my own personal experience of being around nurses, from my own personal experience of observing what goes into the job of being a nurse, I feel like I'm capable of doing more. I'm an intelligent person and I am capable of working in stressful environmental.

I'm gonna mention something about my father etc... Also a sit
OK i'm not even gonna attempt finishing this sentence. I'm scared. I have to go practice somewhere where I can talk--to myself.

Home sweet home :(

Okay so I'm totally freaking out! we've been at my mom's friend's house for more than 4 days now and the house is still not done. Mom called the construction guy today and he told her that it will take another day. Problem is the people we're staying with are starting to show "signs of frustration" I guess you really get to know the person when you live with them...its only been 4 days I know. but mom's friend doesn't seem happy with the situation so far. I mean we're only sleeping there, not eating or running around. But theres 4 of us so I guess I see where she's coming from. plus we're occupying one of their rooms and as a result, she has to sleep on the floor. I don't know. This whole thing is not right. I feel like a free-loader :( and so does mom. I've never wanted to go "home" so bad. Ugh having a place to sleep is such a blessing that you don't appreciate until you lose it.

Anyhow, on a different note, I have my SJSM interview today. I'm very nervous and scared. I still haven't prepared an answer to the popular "why do you want to be a doctor?" question. But I can't see myself brainstorming any ideas now because I'm hungry. I need to grab something to eat and then I have to think, think and think. I'll probably use this blog as my rough copy.

Ugh I really don't like how my life is looking at the moment but I just can't change it. God I so hate being out of control :( its the worst feeling in the world.

I need miracleS

Till next time (hopefully in 30mins)