I really do. I hate living life in the fast lane...I can't believe I already reserved my seat. and now there are a million things I have to do before leaving Toronto. I can't believe I'm gonna live on my own for the next 8-10 years of my life. I can't believe I'm leaving my parents, Toronto, my house, my friends and most of all, I can't believe that I'm an adult.....and that its time to act like one.
The thought itself is so scary---especially for someone who is SO dependent on their parents like myself. I'm scared. Very scared.
Yesterday, I had a little talk with my mom about "my future career as a doctor". and mom tried to calculate how old I will be by the time I get my MD and finish my residency...according to her math, I'll be about 30 (that's if everything worked as planned, but unfortunately life as I know it, doesn't always behave...so I'm gonna say about 32). My mom is obviously concerned about whether Ill want/be able to start a family at 32. She thinks its a bit too late. I have to say I somewhat understand where she's coming from. Most of my friends are already thinking about marriage (and they're only 23), some have even taken more "serious" steps and gotten engaged. People are moving on, I guess. I just know that I'm not ready for marriage or even relationships. My mom said that going to medicine (and especially taking the route I'm taking) means dedicating my life to studying/learning and working. I just hope its worth the effort. I realize that chasing my dream of becoming a doctor = to making BIG scarifies....I just hope and pray to God that by the time August rolls around, I hope that I will be 100% positive and confident about my decision. I don't want to be scared....It's just not healthy.
On a more positive note, mom sort of excited about her daughter becoming a doctor :) She even said she would buy my scrubs from Sears....and my lab coat. I thought that was pretty sweet (in fact I'm smiling as I'm typing this). I love my mom. I just want her to believe in me. I know that she knows that I'm scared...and I know that she is too and so is my father but I just wish they could be a bit stronger....I draw my self-confidence/esteem from my parents and it would just help a lot to know that they're proud of me and supportive of my decision. I want to be able to call them and cry, without having to hear "you're on your own".
I'm just so scared.
I have a long day ahead of me and tomorrow is my presentation day. I'm very nervous! I ended up choosing the article on Caffeine and BDNF/TrKinase. I still don't understand all the little details but I get the big picture.
oh and as usual, I'm running out of time.
Miracles!! I need them!
Till next time
P.S. I might take a few pictures today and upload them later on, the weather is AMAZING!
About Me
- wallflower
- Hello and welcome to my blog. I am here to talk, let it out. I believe that blogging about my personal experiences makes me more emotionally stable and helps me come to terms with them. I have recently graduated with a B.Sc. in Neuroscience and Psychology. I plan on persuing a career in medicine, however this goal is put on hold for now...mainly due to financial complications. I will update this blog quite often. Stay tuned! UPDATE: I AM IN MED SCHOOL!
5 comments:
you can just take it easy, you don't have to force yourself to be ready for anything, and just take the path of life.
It is scary, but sounds pretty exciting too, and the important thing in life is to live it without regrets.
Good luck!
CONGRATULATIONS on your acceptance to the Medical School!
I'm not worried, because I'm sure you'll suceed in your study.
We should be proud of you trying your best to be successful so I would like to say raise your head, you are Iraqi and I mean it.
Khalid,
Thank you very much for your always supportive comments. They always make me smile so thank you.
Touta,
appreciate your thoughts on my post. Its gonna be tough...but I can do it inshallah!
I saw you on the despicable Iraqimojo's blog. In response to his post about how much he hates Arabs and the derogatory remarks he made about them, you said "I love this post"
Maybe I misunderstood you, but if that is true then you should not be a Doctor. What sort of Doctor supports such racist language? What sort of person who is getting an education would agree with such comments? If you are really a supporter of that blog then do not study medicine. You are not a decent human being and Doctors need to have some humanity.
And if you supported the war on Iraq then do not be a Doctor as Doctors should work to save lives and not support the killing of people.
I hope I misunderstood your comments, and if so, good luck in your Medical School studies.
Hey there,
I really thought the phrase "3arab jarab" was funny. Not sure if I said "I love your post", because I don't recall reading the post. In all cases, you have my sincere apologies. I didn't mean to offend anyone and I have to admit it was very silly of me to make such statement.
Have a nice day.
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